Friday, March 22, 2013

the sweet and the sour of marriage...and Lemon Almond Cake...

TheHusband and I are thirteen years into marriage
Like all good Fairy tales it has a storyline that dips and soars - and more often flat lines. 

The hero leaves the toilet seat up, clears his throat while he watches TV and frequently acts like a Bachelor.

These actions (and many more) cause the heroine so much grief she can't believe she married such an imbecile.  We'll save her mood swings, failing eyesight and diminished sex drive for another post.

Less Beauty and more Beastly...

The bad can overwhelm the good and make it seem very hard. Which it is.

Marriage is work.

Extenuating circumstances aside, it can require more effort to stay and keep going than to move on.

When you struggle and wonder if leaving would be better.

When you dream of having the bathroom to yourself, or long to read a newspaper that hasn't been decimated and strewn around the house before you get to it. When you are reduced to being annoyed by the way he even breathes. 

Then try to remember what it was like when you met.

The serendipity that brought you together. 

Why you thought it might be a great idea to spend your life together.

The moral?  

Love is sweet and sour.  Like this lemon cake.  The flavours work well together, the trick is getting the mix just right.  That takes practice, compromise and care. 

The results can be worth it. 

I do not have all the answers but I do know the grass is hardly ever greener.  
As a child of divorce and an ex-wife - I had a starter marriage twenty years ago that lasted long enough to use the wedding present cutlery once - I speak with experience when I say the fallout of a relationship breakdown reverberates for years.
If you jump be prepared for the colour on the other side of the fence to be just as faded.

While you take a moment to ponder I will make a suggestion.

Dust off your wedding album and sit somewhere quiet with a cup of tea and a slice of cake.
If nothing else you might marvel at your pre baby body and the amount of hair your loved one used to sport. At best?  You might take a trip down happy memory lane...and recall that it is for good times and bad. 

Make yours a keeper and write your own Fairy tale version.

Lemon Almond Cake *

2 eggs
1 cup sugar
3/4 cup Greek yoghurt
1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
zest of 3 lemons
1 cup plain flour
1/2 cup almond meal
1 1/2 tsp. baking powder
Preheat oven to 170 degrees Celsius. Grease a square baking tin. Line with baking paper.
Beat the sugar and eggs until light and creamy.  Mix in others ingredients lightly and swiftly.
Bake for about 30 minutes, until the top golden and the top springs back when pressed.
Cool. Ice generously with lemon icing. 

* adapted from a recipe in Sunday Life.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Yes yes yes yes ....... I know what you are saying but I am TIRED and I used to be on the other side of the fence and yes that was not always great but it was MY fence. Anyways, I vowel to spend more of his money and have more massages etc. Maybe that will help change the colour of the lawn on this side of the fence!